At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.
Don't regret when i'm gone
21 November 2012
Last blogged @ 01:29

 what is life?
are u satisfy with what u have now?
is that the best for u?
will u have any regret if u suddenly die tml? 

had my hospis visit yday
all 5 of my patients are chinese

how will u feel if someone u close to or urself
having some terminal disease?
how will u feel if someone tell u
u have not much time left
the disease u have is not curable? 
how will u feel if someone tell u that 
u need to mentally prepare that they can die anytime?

is so heart broken
when the nurse ask the patient
is there anything that the patient wish/ haven do
is the family mentally prepare for the death
is the patient willing to have morphine when they are dying
to make them feel better

they know they are dying
but
what can they do?
morphine to make them feel better?

if the patient is 60+ years old
they will feel that they live enough for their life
but how about the few months old or the children?
they deserve for it? 

life is unpredictable
a pak cik called when we are heading to the second house
there are no greeting
but someone crying over the phone
the crying sound lasted for a few min
and the pak cik tried to talk
his wife just stopped breathing a few min ago
and he cried again

the nurse discussed with the pak cik and mak cik last week
mak cik has end stage breast cancer which spread to lungs
the mak cik cried and ask the nurse to take her life away
she felt her life is so suffering
she was bed ridden
she need pak cik's help in all her daily activities
she feel that she is burdening pak cik 
and she hoped she can end her life 
then pak cik will be free from all of these

but the pak cik shake his head 
and said
he never felt that she was his burden
this is what he promised and vowed during their marriage
they vowed to be together and go thru all the challenge of life together
no matter healthy or with disease
and then
tears scroll down from his cheeks

in the end
the mak cik passed away
as expected
pak cik cried sadly whenever he called the relatives to inform the death
no one can understand how the pain is
losing someone that u love
someone u vowed to be together for the rest of ur life

i can't explain what is my feeling now
the heaviness in my heart

this is y i keep remind myself
to appreciate what i have now
my family
my dearest
my BFF
my girlfriends

i prayed for them
to stay healthy
to get what they wish
and 
i appreciate that they are with me 













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everyone i love


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